If Others Win, Do I Lose?
It was really interesting to see childrens' comments on the Youngzine article, "Obama Hosts China's Hu". While we were delighted to see the intelligent comments, we couldnt help noticing an undercurrent of insecurity - the feeling that China's progress is a threat that the U.S. needs to worry about.
So that leads to a very interesting question for your life - If others win, do I lose?
- If someone else in your class gets better grades than you, do you need to feel bad?
- If another family is rich and can afford more things, does that make your family any worse?
- If another country is making great economic progress, does that come at the cost of your own country's progress and self-esteem?
The surprising answer to all 3 questions is not just NO, but that it is actually GOOD to have someone else succeed, especially if it can inspire you to do better!
Life is not a "zero sum equation". If someone else wins, more often than not, it has nothing to do with you and does not come at your cost. We tend to view a lot of life as a sport - where one team wins, and the other team loses. When the other person (or family, or country) does well, we tend have feelings like - "I'm so jealous", "He did not deserve it, he cheated", "Why is everyone better than me?", or "That country could use its progress to build an army and attack us".
The reality is that the world that we live in is a sum of all of our individual and collective progress, and someone else's win may actually help our own lives. That whiz kid who "beat you" in Math may go on to become a computer genius and invent that new gadget that changes your life, or start an Internet company you could buy stock in and become a millionaire yourself!
Secondly, these winners will inspire you to do better. When another student in the class consistently gets better grades, find out what makes her tick, and follow her path. When another country makes twice the progress our country is making, find out what we need to do (better education, more investment in clean energy?) that will help us get better as well.
Thirdly, when you end up winning on a few things (say, you are really good at Science), you could inspire and motivate others around you, rather than look behind your shoulder to see who is catching up. That will help you become a true leader when you grow up!
What are your thoughts?
money never buys you happiness. all that matters is being with friends and family
Everyone should be a winner!
that is right NO ONE IS A LOSER EVERYONE IS A WINNER!!!!! AND THAT IS NOT A LIE????
If you're about to lose you shouldn't give up.
there are no winners or losers in life. ONLY PEOPLE THAT ARE BETTER THAN OTHERS.
i think everyone is a winner
As Sammy said above me, "jealousy is the worst form of selfishness," I agree with her :) (it could be a him as well, but I'm just guessing this is a girl, correct me if I'm wrong)
as long as you tried your hardest...your never a loser?
You are winner as long as you tried.
you can win but you can also lose but if you lose then you lose
Everyone is a winner.
Very true, it doesn't matter if you are in the best part of your life with riches, good grades, and popular clothes its what's in the inside that counts. Not if you win or lose. Just have fun when you play!
wining or losing you must have fun.
It is good if someone else succeeds, good for them, but its not bad if you don't succeed, do you think just anyone can just everyone can do everything? Just be grateful of your own skills and abilities.
i like to win i am good at games but if i lose i get angry
very interesting perspective
ok, so just because you maybe didnt win a game or something doesnt mean you lost, it just means that you didnt believe in yourself. But, in reality, you are all winners. Just keep on believing in yourself and dont give up
i think its not about winning or losing. its just about having fun
You have to be fast and smart to win.
If you're confident and you're trying your best, plus keep your head held high, you're never a loser! :D
I think EVERYONE is a winner!!
I agree Bailey F. I couldn' t say it better myself.
I have been inspired a lot in my life.
Everyone is a winner even if you lose. If you start to think that your a loser just think don't give up!!!!!
Yes, no one ever loses, well as long as you at least TRY!
Well Then I guess I never lose
Well then I guess I never lose
no one wins or loses everyones a winner.
i agree with you girlfriend
nothing will be bad i really dont care if anyone gets a better grade than me as long as i pass
Ya, don't get jealous if the other person wins just say good job, i will get you next time in a joking way!
It depends on how you play
No as long as your a very good sport you never loose.
just because someone wins you dont
Nothing will change my opinion but sometimes it's good to be jealous. Because first you see think wow they have it all and later come to find that having it all causes problems. And like zippyfire4444 said and sammy02 "not long lasting pleasures, I don't tend to mingle with people who are envious about anything"
Yeah i am so broke and it is no big deal. Well, I am broke but my parents aren't
Yeah. It's like the old saying goes: "Don't judge a book by its cover. "
If someone gets better grades don't get mad. Let it inspire u to try harder and do better. What's on the outside like having the most money or the most popular clothes or newest bike does not matter. Its what is on the inside.. its about fun and friendship.
Wow I agree it challenges me to do better...and better until it's me someone inspiring them to better.
Jealousy is the worst form of selfishness. I don't tend to mingle with those people who are envious about dressing styles, better grades, richness.
A real friend is one who learns from their friends and feels happy when their friend is successful. Not those, who don't like improving on themselves and yet feels triumphant when others don't do well.
Well said sammy.. I agree
Me too. There's nothing to be jealous of because money and wealth and fame and power are not lasting pleasures. :) bee happy with what you have