Complete The Story

Oct 3, 2011

Complete this story in no more than 500 words. Awards will be given for different categories (Creativity, Language, etc).

"The house next to Keisha's had been lying empty for a year now. That morning, however, when Keisha and her brother Tristan were throwing a ball around, they saw a car drive up and stop in front of the empty house...."

 

All five entries below were great, so we're declaring all of them as winners, though Jacki gets a special mention for doing the best piece!

Cole
Jacki

Arjun

Anne

Elizabeth_2

 
livi1   1 year ago

keisha pulled tristan behind a bush. "shhh" said keisha. tristan looked at the car, it was a scratchy black with a license plate that was bent, it read "dethcar" tristan gasped "keisha look at the license plate!" keisha looked, "o my god" she said.
two tall strong men got out of the car. the one man had a huge scar on his face and the other had only two fingers on his hand. the men walked up the old cracked side-walk. keisha and tristan watched them silently. The men walked up onto the old broken porch and looked around. "AH AH ACCHHOOOO" "keisha!" said tristan " i am sorry tristan i couldnt help it!" the men went into the house the door practicly falling off its hinges as they opened it. they walked in and dissapered into the darkness. the two children weny inside their own home and told there mom what they had seen. their mom called the police. they police arrived and found the two men in the house dead. the officer was talking to the mom and kids. he told them that they would get a reward as the two men where murderers. the kids started to cry. the mom silenced them. "what where they doing here?" asked the mom. the officer said that the men where probably planning a attack or murder on them. "how did they die" asked the mom. the officer said that the house has always kept its contents owners and all safe. so the house is magic? asked the mom. yes i can belive i am saying it but it is mam'. oh wow it kept us safe then. yes mam'. the officers picked up the two bodies and left

starlight341   1 year ago

noooo! please don't im innocint!!! ok i will let u go if u gimmie all your moeny heres my moeny now let me goooooooooooooooooo! T-T-Tristin i had a terrible dream k-k-keisa i had a dream u were being kidnapped... me too i was being kiddnaped ohhh it was terrible ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh its him noooo dooon't please please! the kiddnapper took them in forest and left them there to die.Soon after 12 years of screaming, 3 travlers found a way to the forest house they dicided to take some rest there.but when they opened the door they found 2 bodies laying on the floor. but of course there was funaral for them and the murderer was found.

britney   1 year ago

I never thought that I would ever get kidnapped , but I did !!!! I couldn't escape , so I gues my life is over.

elizabeth_2   1 year ago

"Maybe someone wants to buy the house!" Keisha Green suggested.
"Nah, that house is haunted by the late Mr. Cauldren," contradicted Tristan. Mr. Cauldren lived there once, but everyone who buys it, they don't stay one night. They say it's a ghost, word has gotten around.
"Their probably civilized, and know there's no such thing as ghosts!" Keisha stared at her imaginative 10 year old brother, Tristan Green. Keisha was 12 years old and serious. A girl about Tristan's age jumped out of the teal van. Her parents closely behind her. The girl had black hair with pink highlights, her eyes were crystal blue. Her hair slapped the air as she turned around. She whispered something and in a flash, 13 cars pulled up. 5 people stepped out from each teal van.
"This is our new lab!" the girl announced in a hoarse, spine chilling voice. The girl noticed Keisha and Tristan.
"Get them!" ordered the girl.
"Yes, Marilene," everyone answered. All of the people dashed towards the Green kids. Keisha broke into a sprint, Tristan was not far behind her. She glanced back, Tristan had tripped. The crowd circled him. When the crowed parted, Tristan had disappeared! Keisha awoke with a scream. Keisha's heart was racing! She hopped out of bed and ran to Tristan's room. He was sleeping soundly. Keisha sighed and tiptoed back to bed. "Never," she swore, "will I watch "My Vampire Neighbors" before bed ever again."

AnikaP   1 year ago

Keisha dropped the ball and pulled Tristan behind a tree. The car was big and white, and it's license plate had been ripped off. Keisha and Tristan silently watched as two men got out of the truck.

One man was extremely big and strong. He looked around suspiciously and began walking towards the front door. He motioned for the second man to follow him. The second man tugged at the frong door before producing a paper clip from his pocket.

After picking at the lock for a decent minute or two, the first man banged the door open and entered the house.

"Hurry up Chris, we've got to get out of here quickly," the first man said.

"I'm coming Jake, but I'm sure somebody's watching us."

"Well if you hurry up, then we can get out of here before they call the police."

When Keisha and Tristan were sure that the men couldn't hear them, they snuck inside their house and made sure they locked the front door.

"What should we do, Keisha?" Tristan asked "Even if we call the police they won't be able to track them down. There are a lot of white trucks and this one doesn't have a license plate!"

Keisha thought for a long time, rubbing her chin. Suddenly, she had a brilliant idea.

"What if we make a license plate?" Keisha said "We can write a code on the back of the truck and we can tell the police what the code is?"

Keisha grabbed a permanent marker and peeked out a window. The men were still in the house. She crept outside and hid behind the tree. Carefully, she ran to the back of the truck and scribbled the code: 8A17O on.

"8A17O," she remembered.

Unfortunately, the men came out of the house carrying a large chest before Keisha could run back. The first man went to the back of the truck and Keisha hid on the other side. Luckily, the man didn't notice the code. The man left the trunk open, and before Keisha realized what she was doing, she jumped into the trunk and hid behind the chest. Moments later, the man closed the trunk with a loud bang and drove off.

Tristan stood behind the tree for a few moments, not believing what had happened. Fortunately, he had seen the code as the men drove off. He ran into his house and dialed the police.

"Excuse me officer, but there's these two robbers who've just robbed the house next to mine. My sister tried to stop them and she's in the trunk of the car right now," Tristan said quickly.

"Okay, relax. Now, we need to know what the car looked like and whatever information you have."

"Well, the car was big and white, and there was no license plate. My sister got a genius idea and wrote the code 8A170 on the car, because she wanted to call the police. The men came out of the house before she expected so she hid at the side of the car, and because she had nowhere to go, she jumped into the trunk, behind the chest they brought out from the house."

"That's all we need to know. The car is big and white and has the code 8A170 on it. Where are your parents and what is the address of the house they robbed and what is your address?"

"My parents were actually out and because Keisha is 15 and very mature, they left her in charge of me. Our address is 15 Robin Drive and the address of the house that was robbed is 17 Robin Drive."

"What are your parents' phone numbers?"

"My mom's is 886-588-9087 and my dad's is 886-453-2109."

"Okay, we will call your parents and tell them what happened. Meanwhile, we will send out some people to look for your sister. You just stay safe inside your house."

At the same time, Keisha was trying to get herself into a position where she could reach into her pocket, get her phone, and call her parents. She had been counting the turns that they had taken, so far it was 6 rights, 2 lefts, a right, and a left.

Finally, she got her cell phone and dialed her mother's number. Apparently, her mother already knew everything about it. She mentally reminded herself to thank Tristan and get him a present for using his common sense.

She called the police who caught up with the van in a few minutes. The car finally stopped at a big warehouse. Not only did the two men get out of the car, but so did the police. The men hadn't even realized the police had been following them.

The police opened the trunk of the car and pulled out Keisha and the chest. They tied up the men as another police car arrived. The car took the men to jail and the other car took Keisha to the police station, where her parents were waiting for her.

Before they left the station, the police gave Keisha medal because she had just caught one of the most notorious criminals in the area. They all left and when they reached home, the saw another car pulling up into the driveway of the strange house.

A girl around Keisha's age and a boy around Tristan's age and their parents got out of the car. A truck soon pulled up behind them. This time, they weren't robbers though, they were the new neighbors moving into the house.

elizabeth_2   1 year ago

Soooo creative!!!

Arjun   1 year ago

It was an old, dilapidated Civic. The windows were battered, the door was smashed, and it was a wonder how it was still running. A shadow passed over the sun as Keisha and Tristan stared, eyes fixated, timidly at the Civic. It seemed to give off an aura of death, it's windshields black, as well as its interior. Keisha and Tristan backed away, knees shaking, as a man in a suit walked out briskly and slammed the car door shut. Keisha relaxed and loosened her grip on Tristan, her red fingernails easing their tightening grip on his now-scarred hand. She began to walk away, slowly, until suddenly, with a quick move of his head, the man stared at the two kids. Keisha and Tristan shook like a baby as the gentle breeze turned into a storm, the wind a flat blade of ice, lashing against the three figures. The man's eyes were blood-red.

Leaving Keisha and Tristan in a trance, the man walked into the house, strolling confidently, an aura of death, similar to the Civic's surrounding him like a black envelope. Keisha finally found her legs, rooted to the spot in the gathering storm, and scuttled back to the house, Tristan trailing her, tears of despair in his eyes. As Keisha slammed the front door shut, Tristan rolled himself into a ball, rocking back and forth, weeping. Keisha knew something was wrong.

She decided to investigate. It took a remarkable amount of courage to step out of the warm house into the icy wind, and to walk towards the house. her heart was pounding so hard she could hear it, and her knees were knocking, as she wiped her clammy hands on her jeans. Climbing the steps, she grasped the doorknob, wanting to turn back even as the door creaked open slowly. An eerie silence greeted her, and she found the confidence to step further, her footsteps echoing in the silence. She entered the living room, her shoes creaking on the wooden floor, her head pounding with fear. She almost fainted from the shock.

For there, lying on the floor, was the body of the red man, head smeared with blood, dead.

Jacki   1 year ago

The house next to Keisha's had been lying empty for a year now. That morning, however, when Keisha and her brother Tristan were throwing a ball around, they saw a car drive up and stop in front of the empty house...
*********
It was a long, gleaming limousine, black as ink and with an out-of-state license plate. Keisha looked away from her game of catch and stared at it, wondering if she should grab Tristan and run inside her house. Suppose these strangers were kidnappers? There was no one around but herself, Tristan, and the biting October wind, and as her long dark hair swirled around her waist, she felt infinitely small and vulnerable. Instinctively, she caught hold of the nearest birch tree. "Tristan," she began in a stage whisper. "I think we should -" Keisha got no further, for something small and hard hit her in the face.
"Keisha! Are you okay?" Tristan sounded somewhat concerned, which was unusual for him, but his tone quickly changed to one of incredulity. "How could you miss? I threw the ball right at you."
Keisha rubbed her nose and glared at her brother. She picked up the baseball absently and glanced furtively over to the mysterious limousine. Tristan followed her eyes, finally seeing the car for the first time. Some people were getting out of it: a rotund little man with shifty eyes and a tall, elegantly dressed woman. The woman's midnight eyes roved around the street, taking in all the houses. The eyes flashed when they saw Keisha and Tristan, and the woman spoke in a surprisingly deep and guttural voice. "What ees this, Pierrrre?" she said to the man, rolling her r's melodiously. "Who arrre these cheeldren - could they be zee ones?" She walked toward them slowly, high heels clicking across the pavement. The man followed with a smirk on his face. A sharp pang of fear shot through Keisha's body, and she clutched at Tristan. The woman was almost upon them, but Keisha felt rooted to the spot. Her mouth was dry; her feet would not move. Tristan looked up at the approaching woman with interested little-boy eyes. "Come now, cheeldren, do not be frightened. I only vant to ask you a question." In another second she would be next to them, probably reaching out her bony claws and stuffing them in a sack and dragging them to who-knows-where.......Keisha let out a strangled cry and ran, dragging Tristan with her. She flew into the house and double-locked the door, thanking heaven that she had regained the use of her legs in time. Tristan, frightened at last, began to cry.
While Keisha tried to calm her galloping pulse, she hurried over to all the windows, shut and locked them, and pulled the shades shut. Then she picked up the telephone to call her mother's office. "Mom," she almost sobbed when she heard the familiar voice say 'hello'. "Come home right away. Someone's tried to kidnap us!" Keisha could her a sudden fluttering of paper and a loud crash, as though her mother had knocked a bookcase over. "I'll be home immediately, dear. Are you safe now?"
"We're okay, but those nasty people are still outside!"
"I'll be there in three minutes."
********
Keisha and Tristan huddled on the sofa until they heard the blissful sound of an old Dodge Caravan rattling up the driveway. Their mother got out of the car, and to Keisha's amazement, rushed into the arms of the strange woman, who had been standing bemusedly on the front steps of the house next door.
"CHARLOTTE!"
"GERTRUDE!"
The two women began crying and laughing all at once, as women who have not seen each other in a long time. Keisha, peeking out the window, was shocked. The man was joining in the group hug too! "Do come in, Charlotte, Pierre," Keisha's mother was saying. She escorted them to the front of the house and knocked on the door. "It's all right, Keisha, you can let us in!" she said, and Keisha cautiously obeyed to find herself looking into her mother's smiling face. "Keisha and Tristan, let me introduce your Aunt Charlotte and Uncle Pierre. They've come all the way from France to visit!" "But - but -" stuttered Keisha. "Why did you park next door?"
"Oh, we had zee wrong house number," said Aunt Charlotte.
"We were going to ask if you were Keisha and Tristan Ghoulstone," put in Uncle Pierre. "But I guess we must have frightened you."
Keisha let out a long breath and relaxed. She wasn't going to be abducted after all! She grasped Tristan's hand and wiped away his tears. "Everything's going to be all right now," she whispered.
********
"It was rreally very funny how we met the cheeldren," laughed Aunt Charlotte, after they had resumed the subject over tea and muffins. "From zee look in yourrr eyes, Keisha, one would almost think we were kidnappers!"

Eden   1 year ago

Jackie - That was a really good story! Have you ever thought of writing a book? I think you could make a really good book and i would for sure buy it!

chingling   1 year ago

I never participate in the Finish The Story contests Jacki but I always love to see what you've written! Well done you always have the best story :)

Cole   1 year ago

but it was a wrong turn, and the car pulled away.
But then they saw a flash of light coming from inside the abandoned house.
Keisha and Tristan decided to go check it out, they carefully tip-toed across the yard to the window.
the peaked inside then all the sudden the shades snap shut!
They both jumped back.
Keisha herself loves a good mystery so they tried to sneak in, the crept up to the back door, and when she stepped on the door mat she fell through the floor!
She was falling and falling when suddenly "OOF!" she hit the floor with a hard "THUD".
"Thats gonna leave a mark!" she muttered to herself while rubbing her backside.
Then she heard someone making a awfully lot of noise next to her.
"Tristan!" she hissed "Keep it down they're gonna hear us!"
"WHO"S THERE!" A voice barked

* * * * * * * * *
As Keisha fell Tristan jumped after her but the trap door shut before Tristan reached it.
"KEISHA!" Tristan screamed.
He ran to the front door and tried to open it.
No luck.
Tried garage.
No luck.
He ran to try the back door, and when he stepped on the door mat, he fell too.
He hit the ground with a loud "THUMP".
He heard screaming around the corner.
"Keisha!" he screamed!
He bolted down the hallway to see some ugly alien thing tying her onto a board.
"NO! STOP!" Tristan shouted.
But then something grabbed him by the shoulder and started pulling him towards a empty board just like keisha's!...

Eden   1 year ago

Cool story!

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